I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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