Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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