We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
