This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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