I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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