So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
