The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need a beard to bite.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
