That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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