i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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