Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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