Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
