Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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