i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
