Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
