Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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