in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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