we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she looked like the before picture.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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