We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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