We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize