He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am naked and annoyed.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
