we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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