So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
