Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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