i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
