Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
