fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
