Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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