Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
