my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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