It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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