I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
