You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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