He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
