Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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