Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
