Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
