omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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