What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
