My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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