whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
