absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
