Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
