hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just pynch a tree in the face
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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