If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
