Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
