dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
