I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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