i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
