Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
