Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
